IronPigs Unveil New Self-Mutilating Uniforms

Posted: February 25, 2014 in Uncategorized

pigsLeave it up to my former employer, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, to come up with a new, public relations booming alteration by the time spring training comes a knocking. Last season, the IronPigs’ front office created quite a bit of buzz by installing urinal video games, controlled by the never-ending stream of urine supplied by endless $4.00 Miller Lites on warm summer nights.

This week, Lehigh Valley finally unveiled their new uniforms to the public. The organization teased their release with the slogan, “Smellthechange.” Speculation was rampant, with many wondering whether or not the team was preparing to bring a real “smelly” pig trough to Coca-Cola Park for opening day in April. Thankfully, we were spared the aroma of freshly grazed pigs and were instead treated to some of the more original uniform designs in the minor leagues.

Lehigh Valley, never one to shy away from humorous promotions, have unveiled a few changes to their 2014 uniforms. Most notably is the addition of a delectably delicious new hat featuring a piece of sizzling bacon above the brim. Everyone loves bacon. So, how can this go wrong? Granted, it’s a bit self-mutilating. After all, the team mascots are the duo of Ferrous and FeFe, fan friendly swine with smiles on their faces. I’m not sure how they feel about their dead, fried carcasses being put on display on the team’s noggins. It’s a bit like if the Miami Marlins unveiled a new hat that featured a McDonalds Filet-of-Fish sandwich on the front. When overanalyzed, the hat comes off as duly unusual. But, for an organization that prides itself on fun and family, it’s a perfect fit.

Everyone loves bacon, and everybody loves baseball. The IronPigs know that in the minor leagues, it’s all about customer appreciation and putting on a show. They’ve never failed at doing so, and will continue to regardless of what logo is on their cap. With their new, fresh duds, Lehigh Valley is ready for the 2014 season; and we cannot wait for opening day.

  1. kramskorner says:

    I don’t know where you were getting the $4.00 Miller Lites my old friend, but let me know. Bud Light has the pouring rights, and they start at about $5.50. Perhaps you were getting an employee discount? Maybe at the lounge over in the radio station? Matt and Jon have a secret stash?

    But I digress. People either love or hate the bacon hats, and isn’t that what they wanted? It’s year seven around here and it was time to shake things up. They’re growing on me. We’ll have to see them on the field to get the full effect. I’ll let you know.

    Also, the Thursday “pig roasts” in the plaza are somewhat cannibalistic as well. This can’t be any worse. As you said, people LOVE bacon!

    Anyway, I’ll trade you a bacon hat for the source of the Miller Lites. Thanks buddy.

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