Big Papi? More Like Big Baby

Posted: February 19, 2014 in Uncategorized


It’s becoming increasingly difficult to differentiate between the two beings pictured above. One is a crying, sniveling, overemotional product of greed; and the other is a baby.

As spring training begins in Fort Myers, Florida, the defending champion Boston Red Sox expected a celebration. After all, it’s the first time since last October’s world championship parade that the entire team was together in one place. Instead, their party was ruined by perhaps the most influential Red Sox player since Ted Williams. Yes, David Ortiz is unhappy about his contract again; and he has no problem whatsoever telling you about it.

On the opening day of camp, Ortiz arrived with his son and his agent. Whether or not this was a negotiating ploy is up for interpretation. But, one thing is for certain. The Red Sox designated hitter wants to get paid, and he has no problem looking like the bad guy to do it. Unhappy with his $15 million expiring contract, the slugger went on the record and delivered a memorable, expletive laced tirade that only served to exacerbate his problems:

“I’ve been doing my thing, getting prepared for the season. (expletive), man. I’m living the dream. “I don’t even know why they’re bitching about me talking about contracts. Guys putting up my numbers, they’re making $25-$30 million. I’m not asking for that. I’m asking for half of it. And they’re still bitching about it? (Expletive) them. I’m tired of hearing them talk (expletive) about me when I talk about my contract. Hey, every time I talk about my contract, I earn it, (expletive). So don’t be giving me that (expletive).”

For the record, that last classy curse word began with B and rhymed with “witch.” Interestingly enough, you’re allowed to print the word if it’s a verb. But, not if it’s a noun.

Roid rage? Maybe. After all, this is a player that admitted to taking steroids in the mid-2000s, when he and fellow doper Manny Ramirez led the Red Sox to two championships. We’ll give Ortiz the benefit of the doubt and assume that he’s abandoned his artificially enhanced body and replaced it with a naturally insecure body of douchebaggery. $15 million isn’t enough for you, David? Ortiz, a player who has earned over $100 million since his career began, might have trouble feeding his family without an extra year tacked on here-and-there.

You want to know the difference between you and the players who earn $25-$30 million, David? They actually play the entire game. Whether or not you like the designated hitter in baseball; there’s no doubt that a full time DH is not as valuable as someone that can play the field. Ortiz, for all of his clutch at bats during the World Series, doesn’t play the field and hasn’t for many, many years. Instead, he spends his free time clubbing and complaining; the two C’s of a professional athlete in the 21st century.

For years, Ortiz has earned the reputation of a team leader and a community giant. What type of leadership is expressed by coming to camp with your agent by your side and a pocket full of expletives for the media masses in tow? Not the type that endears you to the common man and certainly not the type that makes Ben Cherrington and John Henry want to give you a contract extension.

The Red Sox, after all, are one of the best run teams in sports. There’s a reason why they’ve won three titles since 2004 and it’s not David Ortiz. It’s because they know the right time to abandon a sinking ship. They did it with Grady Little, Terry Francona, JD Drew, Manny Ramirez, Bobby Valentine, and many, many more. At the end of 2014, a decision will need to be made. Will the Red Sox offer an extension to their longtime slugger? Or, will the greatest part-time player of all time cry his way out of the city that he helped build into Titletown?

Big Papi? More like “Big Baby.” At least that’s how he’s acting just over a month from Opening Day 2014.


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